Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I’m at my son’s soccer practice, biding my time with my dog Huckleberry. A nice granny strolls by with a toddler in her arms, sees us, and exclaims with gusto, “My granddaughter just LOVES dogs!!!!” Granny then proceeds to swoop this bundle of joy down into my dog’s face, kamikaze style, again and again, while the little girl shrieks with glee. True or false: This is a perfectly appropriate way to greet a dog.

Sometimes, we dog lovers fall victim to a common assumption that all dogs will love us right back and can’t wait to meet us. In truth, most dogs WILL warm up to us if we approach them in a way that feels right to them, but there’s some etiquette involved here that may have escaped some of us until now.

Luckily, Huckleberry loves people. In fact, she very well may love perfect strangers just as much as she loves me. That’s probably why she tolerates some pretty strange greetings, like the one from the dive-bombing grandma. But coming on too strong can scare a dog, and a scared dog may retreat or, feeling trapped, may even react in a way that can hurt someone. So, let’s talk about polite greetings from a dog’s point of view (I’m now doing my best impression of a dog.) 

I greet my dog friend! I sniff his nose! Then, I sniff his butt! For us dogs, this is polite. Now I’m greeting a new human friend. Yay! I try to sniff her nose but it’s up too high so I have to jump way up there to reach it! Then I try as hard as I can to sniff her butt, but she keeps pushing me away. Huh? Wait, you don’t like it when I jump on you and poke my nose into your backside? Well then, let’s make a deal. If you’ll train me to greet people the way people want to be greeted, I’ll teach you how to greet dogs the way dogs like to be greeted.

Step One:
Please walk up slowly so you don’t startle me, and ask my owner first if you can pet me. She’s my agent. She’ll tell you if I’m available, which I almost always am! But some of my dog friends are a little shy with strangers. And some of their owners WANT them to be super friendly and love everyone, so they TELL people, “My dog is super friendly and loves everyone,” but really they’re not always hearing what their dog is saying. So that brings me to . . .

Step Two:
Please also ask us dogs if we would like you to pet us. It’s SO easy to find out if we want to. Just stick your hand out a tiny bit—not in our faces, thank you very much—and wait a few seconds. A dog who wants to be petted will COME TOWARD YOU! We can’t help it! We really, really want to! If we’re not sure yet, we might think about it for a little bit. If you come closer while we’re still thinking, you might scare us—especially if you’re looking right at us! So please wait for us to make the first move.

Step Three:
Once we’ve made our move toward you, give us a nice pet on the chest. And, for the love of all that is good in the world, please do not pat-pat-pat us on the head. We really like to know where your hand is going, and when it’s above our eyes, we can’t see it and it makes us uncomfortable. In fact, a famous dog trainer named Patricia McConnell pats her border collies on the head to annoy them so they’ll stop pestering her and go away! Now listen closely, because I’m going to tell you a couple secrets about how to make sure we’re cool with the petting.

Step Four:
Read our body language. I know! It’s like we’re from a different culture! So I’m going to translate for you. If I lick my lips, that means I’m a little stressed. If I yawn, I’m a little stressed. If I turn my head away from you? Yep, a little stressed. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you! I just might need a little more space. But when I like how you’re petting me, I’m going to be loose and wiggly, maybe lean closer. Heck, I might even lick your face!

WHAT?? Now you’re going to tell me you don’t like it when I lick your face?! Well, as long as we keep trying to understand each other, I think we’re going to get along just fine.

For more information on dog behavior, visit the Animal Welfare League of Alexandria’s Behavior and Training page at AlexandriaAnimals.org/behavior

Written by Karen Baragona, volunteer for the Animal Welfare League of Alexandria.